120 Bagel Puns and Jokes – A Hole New Level of Fun

There’s nothing quite like the joy of biting into a warm, chewy bagel—unless, of course, it’s laughing at a perfectly baked bagel pun! Whether you’re a carb connoisseur, a brunch enthusiast, or just someone who appreciates a good dough-lightful joke, this list is for you. From Instagram captions to TikTok-worthy one-liners, we’ve rolled, boiled, and baked the best bagel humor into one delicious collection.

So grab your schmear, settle in, and get ready to rise to the occasion—because these puns are on a roll!

Funny Bagel Puns and Jokes

1. Why did the bagel apply for a job? It wanted to prove itself!
2. What’s a bagel’s favorite dance? The hole-y polka!
3. Why was the bagel blushing? It saw the doughnut glazing at it.
4. How do bagels stay in shape? They dough-cise every morning!
5. What do you call a sad bagel? A glum bagel.
6. Why did the bagel break up with the croissant? It was too flaky.
7. What’s a bagel’s favorite movie? The Toast Ultimatum.
8. Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had too many holes in its life.
9. What’s a bagel’s favorite music genre? Roll and rye.
10. Why don’t bagels ever get lost? They always find their hole way back.
11. What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You complete me.”
12. Why was the bagel a great comedian? It had roll-ing jokes!
13. What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Dough-leyball!
14. Why did the bagel get promoted? It always raised the bar.
15. What’s a bagel’s favorite social media? Insta-gram (because it’s always getting toasted).
16. Why did the bagel refuse to fight? It didn’t want to get crusty.
17. What’s a bagel’s favorite vacation spot? The yeast coast.
18. Why did the bagel go to school? To get a little edjamacation.
19. What’s a bagel’s favorite pickup line? “Are you an oven? Because you make me rise.”
20. Why did the bagel get an award? It was outstanding in its field (of cream cheese).
21. What’s a bagel’s least favorite day? Mon-dough.
22. Why did the bagel refuse to share? It was selfish (get it? shell-fish?).
23. What’s a bagel’s favorite Shakespeare play? Much Adough About Nothing.
24. Why did the bagel go to space? To visit the dough-lactic center.
25. What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise? Dough-lates.
26. Why did the bagel get a ticket? It was speeding in the dough-zone.
27. What’s a bagel’s favorite magic trick? Disappearing into my mouth.
28. Why did the bagel become a detective? It loved hole-lywood mysteries.
29. What’s a bagel’s favorite game? *Hide and *schmear*!
30. Why did the bagel refuse to play cards? It was tired of getting toasted.

Bagel Puns for Instagram

31. Rise and brine—it’s bagel time! 🥯
32. Life’s too short for bad bagels.
33. Doughn’t worry, be happy—eat a bagel.
34. You’re the hole reason I smile.
35. Bready or not, here I crumb.
36. Loaf is in the air—especially near the toaster.
37. Bread and butter of my existence.
38. Dough I look good or dough I look good?
39. Bread winner at life.
40. Rollin’ with my glaze-y.
41. Bready to crust the day.
42. Knead a break? Have a bagel.
43. Bread over heels for this.
44. Doughn’t stop believin’.
45. Loaf it or list it—I’m keeping this bagel.
46. Bready set dough!
47. Hole-y moly, that’s a good bagel!
48. Bread and better together.
49. Dough I look like I share my bagels?
50. Bready to rise to the occasion.
51. Loaf yourself—you’re dough-lightful.
52. Bread and butterflies in my stomach.
53. Dough-n’t mind if I dough!
54. Bready for my close-up.
55. Hole lotta love for this bagel.
56. Bread and circus—mostly bread.
57. Dough-licious and toast-worthy.
58. Bready to knead some attention.
59. Loaf at first bite.
60. Dough-n’t quit your daydream (about bagels).

Bagel Puns Captions

61. Bready to crumb-le under pressure.
62. Dough-lightful from every angle.
63. Hole-y delicious!
64. Bread winner at breakfast.
65. Dough-n’t hate, appreciate.
66. Loaf is a many-splendored thing.
67. Bready to rise and shine.
68. Dough-pe expectations.
69. Bread and butter of my diet.
70. Hole-in-one flavor.
71. Dough-n’t knead approval—just bagels.
72. Bready for a snack-attack.
73. Loaf it to me, baby.
74. Dough-licious decisions.
75. Bread and better than the rest.
76. Hole-y satisfying.
77. Dough-n’t yeast me.
78. Bready to roll with the punches.
79. Loaf and laughter—the best combo.
80. Dough-n’t flour-get to enjoy life.
81. Bread and butter me up.
82. Hole-y moly, that’s tasty.
83. Dough-n’t knead a reason to smile.
84. Bready for anything (except sharing).
85. Loaf so hard.
86. Dough-n’t wheat the small stuff.
87. Bread and butterflies in my tummy.
88. Hole-y guacamole, that’s good!
89. Dough-n’t rye-sk it, just eat it.
90. Bready to knead some love.

Fun Facts About Bagel Puns

• The word bagel comes from the Yiddish beygl, meaning ring or bracelet.
• Bagels are the only bread boiled before baking—making them hole-y unique!
• The world’s largest bagel weighed 868 lbs—now that’s a big deal!
• Bagel puns have been rising in popularity since the early 2000s.
• The everything bagel is the most popular flavor—because why choose just one topping?

Bagel Puns in a One-Liner

91. I’m bready for anything!
92. Dough-n’t mess with me before coffee.
93. Hole-y delicious!
94. Bread and butter me up.
95. Loaf is beautiful.
96. Dough-n’t stop me now!
97. Bready to crumb-le.
98. Hole-y moly, that’s a good bagel!
99. Dough-n’t wheat the small stuff.
100. Bread winner at life.

Bagel Love Puns

101. You’re the schmear of my dreams.
102. I loaf you a hole lot.
103. You’re my everything bagel.
104. Dough-n’t go breaking my heart.
105. We rise better together.
106. You’re the bagel to my cream cheese.
107. Hole-y smokes, you’re amazing!
108. I’m bready to love you forever.
109. You knead me, and I knead you.
110. Our love is un-toast-oppable.

For TikTok Bagel Puns

111. Dough-n’t scroll past this bagel!
112. Bready to go viral?
113. Hole-y wow, this blew up!
114. Dough-pe TikTok trend!
115. Bread and butter content.
116. Loaf this trend!
117. Dough-n’t flour-get to like & share!
118. Bready for my close-up!
119. Hole-y moly, that’s a lot of likes!
120. Dough-n’t stop the roll!

Bagel Puns Names

• Sir Bakes-a-Lot
• The Doughminator
• Bready Mercury
• Holey Moley
• The Great Bagelini
• Schmear-a-licious
• Baglelujah
• The Yeastie Boys
• Crustopher Walken
• Bready Potter

Conclusion

And there you have it—120 dough-lightful bagel puns to rise to any occasion! Whether you’re spicing up your Instagram captions, dropping a hole-some joke in conversation, or just craving a laugh (or a bagel), these puns are sure to bring a smile.

So next time you’re enjoying a warm, toasty bagel, remember: life’s too short to take things too seriously. Loaf a little, laugh a lot, and keep the bagel puns rolling!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a knead for breakfast. 🥯😋